[ic inbox] - Kaisou

[throwmoreswords]

You'd ought have a good reason for calling upon me directly, Mongrel.
State your case and don't bore me--or there may be consequences.

username: AUO

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[throwmoreswords]

[ where Waver had a thousand possibilities to contemplate, Gilgamesh only had one truth. that was what being Absolute meant; it was what it was, and only a grand act could change the path. he saw his way forward and he walked it--and whatever came would come. he would meet it all the same. ]

He's the one that I resonate with most, I think. The Caster--the Wise King--had a more subdued life, given that he'd completed his grand journey and settled into the art of statecraft and rulership while Archer refused to wear those shackles.

[ Enkidu continues to rub his little see-through head all up and down Waver's arm, while the calico raised a careful paw towards Para to give him a curious tap right on the weed.

he takes a sip of his own wine--a gesture of good faith, perhaps. it's not like he'd poison the King's Wine. that'd be a crime against wine. ]

It's not complicated. He was who he was, and I am who I am. His path, trials, glories, and tragedies were his, and mine are my own. I've inherited his legacy of power--but I feel no particular compulsion to indulge in his wickeder desires.

[ another sip. he studies his cup of wine as if the numbers he's missing are at the bottom of the cup. ]

When I met Kirei Kotomine, there was a surge of recognition from the depths of my soul. He was, after all, a man that Archer had been firmly entangled with--I don't know if I'd call them friends, as Archer was so insistent that he stood alone save for. Well. You know. [ another sip. he rotates the goblet slow to see the wine glitter in the gold of the cup as he works his way through his thoughts, picking them apart to find his point. ]

But the common ground that they held was something opposite to the principles I hold and what I value. I am, after all, 'Gil'--CEO of far too many companies, occasional philanthropist, and general pain in the world's ass. I'm not an ancient Babylonian demigod who hated the rot and the weakness of the modern world--it's what I was born to and what belongs to me.

Now, on one hand, there was a sense that the priest was 'mine', but after that flash of feeling passed, he stood as a danger to the company I keep now. What's actually 'mine', if that makes sense. [ god, will someone help him understand what empathy is, he's too rich for this. ] Something changed when he killed Takame. The fight stopped being something that was inevitably going to end in victory and became something that had a cost in flesh and bone, and I...

[ felt weird about it. he's scowling into his wine a little. it scrunches his nose and wrinkles his forehead as he psychically tries to interrogate the ghost of grapes past. ]

[fionnuisce]

[paracelsus has been Booped. what a terrible insult, an injustice, a--nah just kidding he's purring up a storm and doing a tap right back.]

...I think all of that makes a lot of sense, actually. [The person he was, versus the person he could be. Few people focused so sharply on latent potential as Waver, and he saw the shape of the matter clearly through that particular lens.]

There's only so much of this I can truly understand, since I lack memories like that. But the wider concept is something I've considered myself; that a person is 'themselves' regardless of what they might be in other timelines. Things like what one might be fated to be are useless, and nature versus nurture seems a stupid debate to have as well.

So I guess...now that I have a better perspective, maybe what I wanted to do was apologize.