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[It's been some weeks since the Everything happened in Asgard and Zulius has largely left Gil to lick his wounds. But there's a thin line between taking some personal time and actively avoiding someone, and in Zulius's unhumble opinion, Gil has now crossed it. He's worried, as much as the king might fuss about people doing so, but he's given the man enough time, so:]

Soooooooo. What's the game plan here, Pumpkin? Just avoid me until I forget you exist, ooooor?

Anyway. Ting a ling, times up. I'm here to bother you. Where are you?

[ Gilgamesh is definitely avoiding Zulius and Vergil. ]

?

I'm the CEO of a massive network of companies and corporations who just spent most of a week unable to interact with a computer or telephone. What do you think I've been doing?

[ avoiding Zulius. and Vergil. but Zulius doesn't need to know that and Gil thinks he's smarter than a particularly determined herd-leading zebrataur. ]

I'm working.

[ He thinks he's smarter than the man with threads all over this damned city. Adorable really.]

REALLY?

R E A L L Y?

So. Do they have your big shot CEO work in Kanto? I didn't know they needed massive networks of companies and corporations out in the cutesy magical animal world.

Wanna try again? :)

[ He will not be deterred. Gil is doomed. He's only making it harder for himself. ]

[ he would destroy you in the Japanese market, four-legs.

Zulius casts Power Word: Kanto and Gilgamesh... gets a sense he's caught, so there's nothing else to do but be a brat for the sake of it all. ]

I go hiking in-between hours spent hunched over my laptop. This is not a new development. Usually I drag Vergil to Hyrule. Is that suspect for some reason?

I'm currently working.

[ Sometimes you bluff despite it being a dumb idea and it works out? Maybe? A King will step into a minefield as a matter of his pride. ]

So that's how it's gonna be huh?

[He is not buying it. The bluff has failed horrifically. ]

Okay. I guess I gonna have to teleport ALL OVER until I find you. And if I end up in a DITCH or eaten by a not sexy BEAST then you'll have to explain to the app at large that I met my SORRY end looking for you.

And we can see how that goes for you.

:) :)

You know I don't lie to people, least of all you.

[ because he's not lying! he's not! he's just presenting truth in an anachronistic order. ]

If we're being overdramatic about it, I'm sure I won't have time to explain anything before Vittore's strange hard-on for revenge kicks in and he uses all of his Command Seals to order me to incinerate myself in rainbow effigy for the crime of contributing to your fabulous-and-yet-self-inflicted-demise.

Is there something you wanted or are we making some sort of death pact over mimosas despite my vague disinterest in dying?

You might not be lying, but you're BSing pretty hard!

I mean, true! That's pretty likely! That just means it's in your best interest to tell me where you are so we can come and check in on you.

Yes? I wanna see how you're doing because you've been avoiding me and Verg for ages and I've been worried about you, you doofus.

Edited 2024-09-10 18:30 (UTC)

You are a vexatious beast, Zulius. How anyone gets it in their head to make an enemy of you is beyond me. I thought I was a hedonist that would try anything once, but the sheer amount of masochism it takes to be in outside of your graces is an entirely new level of self-inflicted torture~

[ stop caring about him stop caring about him he's in too deep and doesn't know how to sort through it but he also doesn't want to drop the stick of dynamite he could drop to really break the bond he's been building

being a people is difficult, fuck. perhaps it's time to take his medicine. he's still gonna be sooky about it. ]

I assure you that I'm fine, Zulius, just legitimately busy. I'm taking a short break in the Kanto gate. If you'd like I can meet you near the entrance.

Oh, damn, vexatious beast, LOVE that. I am SO getting that bedazzled onto a shirt! And tbh I have MINIMAL enemies. It's pretty much just my ex and he's like, the worst person alive without any capacity for basic human empathy anyway, so!

[ Still mad at Legally Distinct Splendib for breaking his heart? Him? ALWAYS. ]

He will not stop caring. Gil is going to have to suck it up and be a people. Worse, still, he has to be a people who's cared for by other people. Shocking. The Horror.

I still wanna see that for myself, so yes, THANK you. Do you want me to bring Verg too or are you guys gonna circle him like an angry cat until you're ready to talk to him again?

I expect it to be in gold and red with white highlights. I demand some influence if I'm to be used as inspiration.

Your ex will be in immense trouble if he ever shows his hide where the rest of the cityh can see.

[ fuck that guy.

You could care like 10% less. It's not gonna hurt anything, really. ]

I'm not the one circling Vergil like a jilted lover; he's the one avoiding the rooms I'm in and making the air stifling with his brooding. If you want a quick and productive conversation, it'd be better to leave him to his centuries old coins.

[ and Gil will make his way back to the portal so he's within spotting distance of it, anticipatory of his visit. ]

You bet I can toes do that. You'll get full credit for it when people ask about it.

You missed him in like, July. His nephew goes to college here so he shows his skank ass around sometimes.

[ Will he ever point the guy directly out? Probably not! Much as he HATES his ex, he knows that the guy being identified will end in his horrible death and Zulius probably shouldn't let him get murdered. Probably.

No. He shall not. ]

Siiiiiiigh. Okay, that'll be a hurdle for another day. I can't put down ALL the fires. Hold tight, I'll be there ASAP.

[And it's not long after that the Zebrataur appears in his usual glittery flash of teleportation magic, right in front of the portal. He spots Gil and trots over. ]

So~ Quick and productive, huh?

I expect a tiny postscript; quote attribution is important, after all. My name should also be bedazzled.

You really should tell us when he's around so I can badger Vittore into leather pants and something showing a little chest. Surely you've upgraded with the muscular half-devil antiquarian who speaks Italian and isn't a massive backstabbing diva.

[ but Zuliussss
it'd be funnnn
don't be a good personnnn
be a fun personnnn ]

It's fine, Zulius. He'll speak if he wants to. [ not when.

Gil's not left perched on a convenient stump for long, standing with a smooth motion as he walks towards the rainbows of glittery fabulousness, hand resting on his hip as he lazily stands for inspection. ]

Quick and productive. No more, no less.

This, I can do for you. And natch! Like your name could be ANY other way.

You know what? I have upgraded. By a LOT. And I am very tempted by the idea of Verg in an outfit like that. Hmm. Yup. Liking that mental image. Also, he can just BE in leather pants sometimes. I would be very okay with that. And showing some chest. Sometimes I want a lil' treat. But it WOULD be kinda nice to rub his nasty little face into how much better I got after him.

[ You can be both Gilgamesh!!! ]

WHEN. It'll happen.

[ That's stated with the certainty of someone who will make it happen, if it doesn't happen naturally.

He'll do a little circular trot around his friend, making sure he really IS okay- he does at least seem to pass physical inspection. Mental and emotional are other matters. Zulius folds his arms with a dramatic sigh.]

Boooo no fun. Okaaaaaaay. So, genuinely how are you doing? [ He raises a finger. ] No flippant responses allowed.

If only the shirt could blink lights on and off like a marquee, but alas, we've not yet hit that level of shirt technology.

I imagine picking up a rotten bag of apples is an improvement, Zulius.

But I'm not going to say no to tarting Vergil up--yes, yes, you and Sam can pick the colors and pattern since no one trusts me or cares about me, but get him with a boot with a bit of a heel, something long to emphasize the legs and tailored to show the shoulder to waist ratio, plus a good pair of glasses... sometimes a man must simply have his arm candy.

[ even Gilgamesh has been working on making Sampo accept his money so that Gil can Build-the-Bitch that he deserves.

Being a nice, fun person is too much work. Best to be a malignant goblin. Live in a hole, hoard trash. ]

I'm sure.

Would you believe me if I truly said I was fine? [ he holds his arms out as he's inspected, eyebrow raised as Zulius does his up close inspection. ] I've been... fine. My mana is stabilized, my roommate is loving life, everything feels somewhat resumed to normal. The Sword of Damocles no longer hangs over our heads. It does feel like we're simply waiting between crises, so it's hard to relax and go through the motions--but the motions must be gone through.

Gil, Babe, Sweetie, I have light powers. I can make that happen!

That is SO true. He's about as bottom of the barrel as you can get.

Excuse you I trust and care about you, do you want me to GET you? I will GET you, Gil. You know your colour theory like NO ONE. And look at those ideas of yours, chefs kiss. Totes gonna do this next time Scumbag McGee shows up. IDK if I will ever be in a mental headspace to actually interact with him without having a breakdown about it, but I'm sure we can probs swan past him.

[ It's fine, he can turn it into a joke about how badly the guy crushed his heart and how fucking hard one Vergil Vittore had to work for Zulius to be willing to give it to anyone ever again. He has faith in Gil's little project tho- live your dreams, rich man. ]

So glad to hear that about your "roommate". [yes he DID use finger quotes on that one. Just WHO do you think you're fooling? ] I mean, yeah. There's always gonna be some new nonsense to deal with. Just because this one is done with doesn't mean they're gone for good. That's just this city for you.

[Still, he considers the response given, and relents with a nod. ]

Okay. I'll take that. But I've still been worried while you've been playing the avoiding game. You know people will worry about you when you vanish for long periods of time, right? [ A beat.] People with a regular understanding of normal social interactions I mean. Not Vergil.

[ic inbox] - Kaisou

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