throwmoreswords | [ic inbox]

For free?

And you see, here's the THING I have great connections for a lot of stuff that people USUALLY ask me for. Weapons, magic spells, enchantments, home appliances, fashion items, hell; even things like computer equipment and non-dangerous items from other worlds like ore, or ingredients for alchemy.

Even liquor!

But never in my LIFE has someone looked me in the eye and requested water. Bottled water.

I'm honestly stumped. But I figured with how big your circles reach, you might have some idea how to hook a guy up.

I have about 5 hours and 12 minutes left.

the misery on your face might just be my kink at this point

alright. so you have all these fabulous connections and none of them are rich enough to know how to get fancy water for you. what is it you want me to do about it? purchase you water? get you a number?

however will I be compensated?

Is that right? After fifteen years, that's what you want to see? Heartbroken again.

And listen, listen listen.
You don't need to pay for a thing, I always have capital to use on getting the goods needed for a good buy-and-sell, what I need is definitely the number, and the means of procuring it within--

5 hours and 7 minutes.

As for compensation--easy.

Your wish is my command. 🌟

There's something to be said about an agonized look on a lover's face when you take them for the first time~

My wish is already your command. You can't gift me something I already own as compensation~ try harder. You have 5 hours and 5 minutes.

Ah, that's what you were thinking, huh?

Well! That's so rude. I don't just do anything on a whim or fall, you know! A wish is worth PLENTY with me!

But if you want me to try harder, well.
I COULD remind you that the 'Special Menu' exists.
You remembered my coffee order, so you have to have remembered that, too!

One of many things, of course. I'm very busy mentally.

My wishes are worth more than the average man's, of course, and you'd grant it regardless of whether you stood to gain something or not~

[ but hang on ]

Of course I remember the 'specials'. I just thought we were trying to... take things slowly, after the storm of our reunion.

[ where you idiots broke the car in. ]

Look, you should appreciate how generous I am to you! Most people would be happy to have my services free of charge!

Ugh.

...

And I know, I know. It's just. You kissed me first, and then there was the whole thing with the car...

I don't know what's supposed to be 'slow' anymore.

Unfortunately, I'm already accustomed to my usual level of service, which means anything less than that is all but an insult~

If it makes you feel anything, my previous incarnation met his dearest person, fought them for a week, and then carried them as their lone friend through every summoning and period of existence on the earth, never allowing another being to stand on the same level as their one companion.

Compared to a matter of days, we're practically glacial.

[ and then he's typing in three phone numbers and the names associated to them. ]

Tsk, isn't that just the way the industry works. You preform miracles, and then suddenly preforming miracles is standard! I've duped myself.

...Hahah, heheheh, haha. Your past self must have been a real firecracker, damn. A week and then bonded for life? Should I be nervous?

But if that's the case, then. I don't see why the Special Menu isn't on the table for you.

[ please give him the number, 4 hours and 58 minutes remain. ]

Work smarter, not harder. You get them used to a higher level of service and they'll think that's standard instead of special~

He was a tyrant and a demigod who liked to tumble other people's wives and treat the people under him with unrelenting cruelty. The gods sent a homunculus to punish him and return him to piety before the divine~ and then they fought for a week and went full soulmate about it. Didn't you have that mythological classics class?

Well, if you insist~ do you still have a miniskirt?

[ the numbers are yours, with names and how Gilgamesh knows them for best schmoozing practices. ]

The boss makes a dollar while I make a dime. ): that's why im gonna take a nap on company time...

IIiiiii did take a mythological classics class, buuuuut it was one of my optional credits and I admit I skipped out on the lectures to do some of my other gigs. I still passed the class by doing good with the research paper, at least, but I did not do it on 'The Epic of Gilgamesh'.

Now I'm sort of sore I didn't.

[ what does that mean.

but oh my god

the miniskirt. he laughs. ]

Oops. Caught me. I do indeed. I sometimes use it when I go shapeshifting with a much prettier face to get some work done.

Funny thing to say to the boss~

You will come to rue that decision. While I am not the tyrannical King of a citystate in the fertile crescent, there is a lot of stuff going on there that explains more than a little bit about me. I suppose you'll remain blind and ignorant, but don't you have the most fun when you're playing it by ear~

If the translation doesn't refer to Enkidu as akin to a wife to Gilgamesh, you're reading a coward's musing.

[ means a lot of stuff
he might be grinning too ]

Fool. Your face is fine. Regardless of the shape you take, it is you at the end of the day and that is the important thing.

[ ... why does he feel funny after saying that. ]

That's really fucking gay, I just need that to be said.

[ so is saying his face is fine what the fuck gil he's trying to make a business deal here he's trying !!? ]

nevermind youre the gay one doesnt matter if its now or the start of the rise of humanity i cant do this you're killing me wtf

....

ill be over soon

love u xoxo

[ic inbox] - Kaisou

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